Have you ever listened to the song New Years Day by Taylor Swift? She sings one of my favorite lines, “Hold on to the memories; they will hold on to you. And I will hold on to you.” These words sum up exactly how I feel about this new year ahead. I want to hold on to all of it. Hold on to it all so tightly.
This past year brought so many new lessons, growth, challenges, and joy. I know with certainty this new year will be nothing short of the same. So many memories just waiting to be snatched up and held on to for the next decade.
Each year one word seems to make its way into my head and heart, and it becomes my mantra for that year. I have been doing this for quite some time, and my word slowly starts showing itself to me as the new year approaches
I find myself looking back over these words and recognizing how they were the perfect piece to my life in that year. In 2018 my word was grace, and oh how that word was on my tongue always. Learning to navigate life with a new baby and accepting all the things that I could not change no matter how badly I wanted to try.
For 2019 my word was trust. I needed that word more than I can tell you. I know with certainty that God puts these words in front of me. I slowly watch them unfold and ring more genuine and more dependable with time. Trusting myself as a mom was one of the biggest challenges last year. Trusting that role, trusting my gut, trusting a slower pace, trusting the timing of having a second baby, trusting the ups and downs that have come with this pregnancy, all of it wrapped up in that word.
And here we are facing a brand new year. 2020 how are you here so fast?
Last week I had more anxiety than I’ve ever known. As we near the end of this pregnancy, the reality is our family will grow from three to four. I have been struggling with so many feelings about that.
I ended up falling off a barstool during dinner the night before Christmas Eve, which ended with me on monitors in labor and delivery at the hospital. I parked and calmly walked my very pregnant self into the hospital (you can imagine the looks as I strolled into the hospital 38 weeks pregnant and alone). Three hours of monitoring, blood work, and a whole lot of body sweat, I was released.
While I was munching on ice chips and anxiously texting my hubby to stay awake in case we should need to have the baby that night, I felt a calmness rush come over me. So many circumstances out of our control, and yet I knew, I needed to be right there right then.
The day after my little event, Christmas Eve, I was reading my devotional and came across the word Peace. I took note of it as I have been seeing and feeling it more and more lately. Then suddenly, it started showing up everywhere! I knew Peace was my word for 2020.
Two boys under two will be nothing short of peaceful, trust that I understand this. I grew up sandwiched in between two brothers and the smells, the games, the balls, the laundry; it was all wild. Thankfully, I do feel a bit prepared for it having had the background. I have also heard it from pretty much every single person who asks me the ages and wants to bestow their lovely stories upon me.
However, I do feel that there is a peace that has settled over me. And next year, when I am standing in the middle of a messy room with two crying boys, I will need to grasp that word so tightly.
I am entering this new year how I try to begin each new year with a very grateful and very open heart. Daily I am learning to let go of the things and the people I can not change, focus more on our family, enjoy the small things, and with wide-open arms welcome all the peace I can manifest in this world into our home.
Wishing you a peace-filled New Year,
Tamara, John, Leo Charles & Baby Boy Waterston
Tamara, this is a beautiful testament to your faith in God’s goodness, His timing, and His never failing grace and strength in our lives. When you share your faith, you are strengthening the faith of those of us who read your words, and that is so important! Our pastor said a few weeks ago, “We are all grace amnesiacs.” We forget God’s goodness and grace, and we start to doubt and complain, so we need to hear about it over and over again. Much as we need to continually eat food to nourish our bodies, we also need to continually hear the truths that God provides us grace, He is worthy of trust, and He alone can give us lasting peace. Thank you for sharing this very personal walk of faith in your life, and know that it builds up those who hear! God bless you, John, Leo, and littlest one as you begin this journey as a family of four. (P.S. I’m so glad you were not badly hurt when you fell! Thank you, Jesus.)
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Tracey – First of all thank you for reading, supporting, and loving on us! I so appreciate your words of wisdom! I agree it is so important to keep on feeding that spiritual part of the soul. My devotional each morning really does set the tone for the day and I am not always at peace or graceful by any means but God has definitely been very good to us this past year. Happy 2020!
Thank you, Tamara. We all have times of doubt and fear, but you have your eyes set on what is important, so you will thrive, even through hard times,
for”those who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength,
they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31
Much love and many blessings to you and your family, and thank you for sharing so much inspiration with us.
Not gonna lie, my heart skipped a beat when I read that sentence about you falling off the barstool( image in brain …. dressed to slay… red lip…. hat in place) then I remembered who was writing this blog … and before I even read on..I said to myself.. she’s got this….
fast forward to you strutting your 9 month pregnant self ( yes in my mind girl you still strut because you’re amazing ) into the hospital… I said to myself … she’s got this.
3 hrs alone … being monitored …. in the room…( been there done that myself )
Is when the peace physically comes over you…..
and I hear you say to yourself …..I’ve got this …..
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Diane – let me just tell ya it was an evening to remember! One second I was leaning up to feed Leo the next I was on the floor calling the doctor. I am so grateful there were angels around. Thank you for being a bright light during this whole experience! Thankful for you and Happy New Year!
We are on a similar journey with our words! My word in 2019 was Strength, which I ended up really needing as I suffered a miscarriage this past June. I’m happily expecting again (boy #2!) due in March, and my word for this year is Grace – knowing I’ll need to give myself grace as we welcome this new babe. Happy to hear all is well after your (scary!) fall! Best wishes for the remainder of your pregnancy to be a healthy one.
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Kristen – I love that word, I often find myself thinking and saying it aloud. Sending you so much love as you kick off the new year and so excited for your family and baby boy to join you! Thank you for taking the time to read and support! Happy 2020!
OMG!!! I can’t even imagine how scary they must have been. So glad and relieved to know you’re both okay. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻 Thinking of you all as you count down the days/weeks leading up to the arrival of Baby W. I love your new word for the new year, it just might be mine too.
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Thank you so much and I love that we have matching words! I know I will be humming and whispering it out loud at all hours of the day! It is so amazing how these words reveal themselves each year. I am not always peaceful, my mind goes from one thing to the next so this word is a word I need to get to know and really take to heart. I send you peace and appreciate your stopping by! XOXO